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Dear Paula: His drinking is making life a living hell

Saturday 07 November
written by: Dear Paula

Dear Paula
Please can you help me? I have been married for seven years to a man who has a drink problem. He binge drinks a lot and stays aways for days on end. When he does come back, he can be very violent.

I had him arrested last year and he promised to stop drinking, so I believed him and dropped the charges but now he is worse than ever with his drinking although he hasn't hit me.

I can't handle this life any more as I have children to think about, so I told him I want him to leave but he refuses saying I am his wife and we are never separating and he will never leave the house. I cannot leave as I have no where to go.

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Dear Paula: My husband's 'lovely' exes

Saturday 07 November
written by: Dear Paula

Dear Paula
I've just discovered my husband has been talking to an ex-girlfriend online behind my back and I'm feeling really hurt and betrayed. I feel very strongly about this because the first few months we were together he told me far too much about the fun he had with his exes, including things I didn't need to hear about his previous sexual exploits.

He also told me an ex was "lovely" while we were cuddled up after being intimate. I'm not the most confident of people anyway and was left feeling completely second best to these women, specially as we never had the kind of fun he described due to him having custody of his kids, which means no social life but hearing repeatedly all about his previous fantastic social life.

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Dear Paula: I'm caught between my boyfriend and my dad

Sunday 01 November
written by: Dear Paula

Dear Paula,
I'm writing to you and asking for your advice because the two people I would usually go to are the two people this is about. I hope it doesn't sound like a silly problem, but I'm finding it so hard to juggle my boyfriend and my dad.

My dad has a rare muscle wasting disease (plus diabetes) and although I still live at home, he spends a lot of time alone because I split my time between my mum's and my dad's house. (I've just finished studying). He doesn't have a girlfriend and all his family are back in Ireland.

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Dear Paula: He's 30 years older than me

Saturday 31 October
written by: Dear Paula

Dear Paula,
I am a 22 year old girl and I was with my past boyfriend who was 21 for about two years. Obviously no one thought twice about this relationship and friends and family accepted it. However this relationship ended and then, six months ago, I met a wonderful man who treats me like a princess.

He helps me with my five year old son, takes me out and loks after me. Basically we seem to be on the same level in that we can talk and talk for hours and never get bored and we both love doing the same things together. Only he's 52, so we have a 30 year age gap.

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Dear Paula: My cheating has brought misery

Monday 26 October
written by: Dear Paula

Dear Paula,
About eight months ago I had affair with a local woman. I have been married for seven years and have been with my partner for nearly 11 years and I love her dearly. The woman told me that she was pregnant and I told her that she would have to give it up as I was already married.

She showed up on my door step a few weeks ago and my wife opened the door and she told her that I got her pregnant. My wife could not take it and she was quick on the phone to get the police so that I could be escorted out of our house. I didn't even get a chance to explain to her about this.

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Dear Paula: Autistic child, unstable mother

Sunday 25 October
written by: Dear Paula

Dear Paula,
I am married but have had several affairs. I do love my wife and the children I've had with her (they are both teenagers.)

However, I have a four year old with another woman (not my first transgression but the only child from such.)

My four year old is severly autistic and his mother suffers from severe bi-polar disorder. The idea was that if she ever left her husband, I'd leave my wife (yes, she was married at the time of conception and birth and four years later).

Now, however.. she made up a whole cancer scare and then said her husband wasn't supportive. She needed me. I talked to my wife and she agreed... so i was on my way... till I caught her lying and moving in with another man.

I'm sorry to make this a long story but I'll make it short now. He's my son. What do I do now that I have zero rights, no trust in the mother and an autistic child? I love them both.

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Dear Paula: Secret code worries me

Saturday 24 October
written by: Dear Paula

Dear Paula,
I'm in a relationship with a widower, and he wants me to move in with him. He had a two year relationship with a woman at the other end of the country before we met, but it faded out and she married someone else. The other day, he had a text from her, very affectionate, and since then I've found out they've been e-mailing each other. He says she's just being friendly, but one of his e-mails had what he called 'our' code, which is X XXXX XXX ( I love you), but he won't show me the e-mails she's sent him. He says it's nothing to do with me. What do you think Paula? I really need some advice here.

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Dear Paula: His drinking is making life a nightmare

Sunday 18 October
written by: Dear Paula

Dear Paula,
I have been with my partner for 13 years and we have four children together. It has been a very rocky relationship as my partner is an alcoholic. He might not drink for months at a time but when he does our lives fall apart. He sleeps with other women, physically and mentally abuses me and he as also started to dabble with heroin to try to stop drinking. It's a totally nightmare, as when he is sober he is so very different it's hard to believe.

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Dear Paula: Pregnancy scare has left him cold

Saturday 17 October
written by: Dear Paula

Dear Paula,
I'm married and stupidly after being pursued for months, I started an affair with this guy. It was always on his terms in the shop where he worked as he is also married.

He didn't lead me on saying he was unhappy in his marriage, just that he fancied me and was just being a guy. I thought I could handle it but found myself having feelings for him.

Anyway, I realised I hadn't had a period for two months or more and although I'm 47 was still worried. I told him, and although I didn't expect him to be pleased, his reaction shocked me, so I just walked away.