Ruby Room

Dear John,

For the last four years my husband has been urinary incontinent. Despite operations, the problem has not been corrected. The products we were supplied with are rubbish for night time use, so I purchased real nappies made for adults along with plastic pants.

The trouble is that I like to put them on him and love to cuddle up to his diapered bum. My husband doesn't mind at all, but I would love to dress him as a baby as well. He says he wouldn't mind in essence, but does this mean that I have a fetish of some kind, or that I'm kinky? I would love to hear what you think of this matter!

Dear John writes:

Anybody who has caught an episode of Jerry Springer when they've stumbled in from the pub will be familiar with the concept of "adult babies" - people who get a sexual kick out of wearing a nappy and acting like an infant, while their partner acts as parent, nurturer and disciplinarian. (Dear reader - if you've never heard of this phenomenon, then I expect that splashing noise you just heard was your monocle falling into your brandy.)

Dear John,

I have been with my husband for 15 years and we were very happy (or so I thought). Then I found out that he'd been having an affair for four years. He said it was just some fun and it was me and the kids he truly loved. I asked him to stop and he said he would, but in May of this year he announced he was going away for a week on holiday. When I asked him who with, he said that he was going on his own – and I immediately knew that he was going with her.

I put him out of the marital home, but now he keeps asking to come back. He says how much he loves me - more than when we first met – and, yes, I do love him too. However, I don't think I can ever trust him again as I will never be able to know if he is telling me the truth.

Everyone I speak to about it says the same thing - "It's up to you" – but I would dearly love an opinion from someone who doesn't know me.

Dear John writes:

It's up to you. Nah, I'm just kidding. In fact, I have some damned good advice - even if I do say so myself...

Dear John,

I recently started seeing a man, and it was going really well although he did show signs of distrust if I went out with my friends. Anyway, after six weeks together, I found out I was pregnant and was unsure what to do about it. And when I told the man in question, he offered support and insisted that we keep our baby and live our lives together as a family.

However, only a few days later, he told me by text message that he no longer wanted to be a father and told me not to ruin my life. Consequently we finished our relationship, but now I'm pregnant and unsure what to do about it.

I have a child already and had to bring it up on my own. It was a struggle, and I don't want to go through that again. However, I don't know if i could go through with an abortion as I may be racked with guilt. I'm really confused. What should I do?

Dear John writes:

First and foremost, a woman has the right to decide what goes on in her own body. This means that the decision of whether or not you have the baby is yours, and yours alone – regardless of what the father (or, for that matter, some crotchety old agony uncle on the internet) thinks.

Dear John,

I've known a lad for over a year. We slept with each other on and off and met up several times. He was going through a hard time in the past couple of months, but now he won't talk to me or reply to any texts - and when I saw him on Saturday he would hardly talk and wouldn't even look me in the eye. Why would a guy start avoiding me, and what does it mean when they won't even look me in the eye? Does it mean he hates me now?

Dear John writes:

Ah, you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it reply to any of your texts. Or something.