Dear Paula,
I feel lonely in my school because no-one likes the same things I enjoy and even make fun of them. I have a few friends but I can't really relate to what they are saying. Also I am the only black kid in my class so when the class brings up topics about Martin Luther King and slavery I feel like people are insulting me.

Dear Paula writes:
I'm guessing from the numbers on your email address that you are in your early teens and this is a difficult time in life and it can be a lonely one, as you are in the process of figuring out who you are, what you believe in and what you want to make of your life. I don't think it's easy for anyone and the tendency for most people is to seek reassurance in membership of the tribe (which is why kids like to wear the same styles of clothing etc).

You have the additional difficulty of being visibly different as well as having different interests and you will have to find your own path here. It might help if there was someone from the black community (maybe a youth leader) that you could talk to but I have no idea where you live and whether such an option would be available to you.

If it's any consolation to you, I have a friend who was the only black child in her school and there were times when she found that hard, but she's come through with flying colours and she found a way of connecting to her black heritage through literature and being proud of who she is.

On the subject of slavery, if you feel insulted when white people are talking about it, if you do a bit of research you'll find that there were very many white people who were sold as slaves. For example, it was fairly common in the Elizabethan era and beyond for Arab slave traders to make raids along the coasts of both England and Ireland and take people captive to be sold in the slave markets of the East.

Many poor English people were also sent as virtual slaves to work on the plantations in the New World where many died. it's not just black people who were exploited in this way. The shame is with the slavers and not the slaves.

The best way to combat ignorance (and that's what it is if you feel people are putting you down for being black) is to arm yourself with knowledge. Find out more about all the black heroes and heroines of the past and present - Mary Seacole (who arguably did a better job than Florence Nightingale), leaders like Marcus Garvey and Martin Luther King.

Knowing you are in their company and that they had to struggle to achieve will help to give you something to feel part of and feel proud of. It's all difficult now but it will get better as you become more sure of yourself. Don't let the small minded followers of the herd put you down. It may feel more comfortable being one of the sheep, but anyone can do that